If you've been following my words, thanks a lot. I really appreciated writing Historias da Lawrence University and I definitely learned a lot. Now let me introduce you to my new blog: Rebecca Carvalho. I hope I'll see you there.

terça-feira, 7 de junho de 2011

Capitulo 47 -- THE END

I had been postponing writing this last chapter of my life at Lawrence University... because I am silly and emotional, and I hate saying goodbye. Lawrence was my home for 3 years and at Lawrence I've learned so many lessons, so many things about the world, about people and about myself, that I could barely bring myself to saying farewell to you, dear invisible reader. If you're expecting wise words from me, please, don't wait anymore. I have nothing to say other than at Lawrence I lived everything I was supposed to live. I will miss a few friendly faces, I will miss the routine, I will miss feeling challenged by people interested in my future, but now it is time to put in practice everything I learned. I am ready. It is time to say goodbye.


Before I turn the page and close this book, I must say thanks to everyone who believed in me, everyone who supported me throughout this journey abroad and the people who are still expecting great things from me. Thank you, mom, for being patient. Thank you, EducationUSA, for making this dream possible. Thank you, Lawrence University staff, for keeping me even though I had no money in my pockets. Thank you, scholarship donors, for securing my education. Thank you, all my friends, for staying around and for being my second family. Thank you, U.S. Embassy, for starting this whole adventure. Thank YOU, for listening to me and sending your thoughtful comments. And, above all, thank you, God, for allowing me a chance to make a difference in this world; without You, I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't be myself.


Good luck to you, good luck to me. The curtains will close in a few seconds, but the show of life will continue in this vague idea of reality. Borrowing the lines of Truman (The Truman Show): "Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!"  

terça-feira, 17 de maio de 2011

Capitulo 46 - What Makes You Who You Are..?


This afternoon I spent a few hours reading The Prelude, by William Wordsworth, which I highly recommend. Wordsworth poetically spoke of the time in his life that made him the poet-person he was; during his childhood he would wander alone through woods, he would play in the river, he would simply sit by a tree and daydream. Nature, it seems, was a constant beloved friend in his childhood.

At times, though, I found my mind wandering away. I found myself thinking about the things in my childhood that molded my personality, my morals, things that fed my imagination and shaped me into the person I am (or, rather, the person I think I am) today. I must say that, despite my fond memories of the time when I lived with my mother, grandparents, my uncle and cousin Steve, the time when I thought I could feed trees with infusions I prepared, the time when I would write in the garden, and the time when uncle Eduardo told me stories about Santa Claus; I suppose that the strongest influence in everything I am comes from my time at Military School.


I was very young and shy when the Army took me and they soon told me (and my mother..!) that, although I was only 12, I had to learn to be responsible for myself, my mistakes and my decisions. It can be quite shocking for a mother to hear that her own daughter, who was nothing more than a scrawny easily scared little girl, had to start facing the world like an adult. She soon learned, fortunately, to let them teach me how to be strong, how to handle my frustrations on my own, how to embrace honor, discipline and loyalty. They taught me, above all, to always tell the truth, no matter how many problems telling the truth might bring. Military School taught me that I shouldn't fear competition. They taught me to respect everyone around me. They taught me to observe silently, to stand still in contemplation of the world and to speak up when my eyes met injustice.


It's been 5 years since I left them, but I suppose it was only a physical departure. I bring them within my heart, I bring that military education in my veins, I am a product of that culture. Although I could never justify killing even to defend one's nation and therefore could never have a military career, because only God has the right to take one's life and to end one's mission on Earth, I suppose there is a lot more in the Army that only people who experienced such doctrine would be able to list. I am thankful for the time spent with them.  
  

Yes, I am Alive.

How did Da Vinci manage that? When I say 'that' I am referring to, of course, his thirst and eagerness to continue learning, studying, researching, being more and more productive, getting to know about everything! I am always impressed when I remember that such brilliant and restless mind ever existed.

I've been really busy lately and it seems to me that during these last 2 weeks of school I will be doing work for a lifetime. By the end of the day I feel I've drained my fountain of inspiration; luckily, though, as soon as my head hits the pillow, and my room is dark and quiet, I start to hear the workers in my factory of thoughts and ideas getting ready for the next day. I hear them murmur that "the system might be overloaded." They are concerned, but they are diligent and careful workers, and they'll get all machines working properly.

...and on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, at 1:40 p.m, my friend Tatiana Biryukova -- who's from very cold distant lands -- gladly joins me in complaining about our work load. We're both foreigners. We know how to swear in different languages... though, for the sake of politeness, we only dare to make annoyed faces at wise Athena.    

quinta-feira, 5 de maio de 2011

Capitulo 45 - And this chapter is about Rebecca getting published

If you've known me since I was a kid, you'd know the one ambition I had in my life was to become a published author. I am pleased to tell you that, thanks to God, this wish came true in March, 2011. To my surprise, however, instead of getting my work published in Brazil, my career sort of started in the U.S., exactly where I am. It is a surprise because my writing is not the best in English. I often feel I am a writer in Portuguese -- or, rather, I know 'enough' to feel I can write properly in my language -- but in English I still have so much to learn.

Last fall I was invited to join a project along with a few other students and a professor at Lawrence. Old Glory Honor Flight, an NGO in Wisconsin, was seeking volunteers to interview WWII veterans and to transcribe their stories. The result would be an anthology of war memories: Operation Legacy. I had to put my fears of writing in English aside and accept the challenge. I interviewed submarine crew member Everett Butler, who's been in Pearl Harbor for his military training and, serving in Manila, witnessed the bombing of the Cavite Navy Yard. His courage and humbleness reinforced my desire to continue writing about wars and, above all, about people who voluntarily or involuntarily experience wars.

You will find Operation Legacy available on Amazon.com; the money raised from sales will allow Old Glory to fly more WWII veterans to Washington D.C. to visit the WWII memorial. Here is the link to the anthology. 

terça-feira, 12 de abril de 2011

Capitulo 44 - 'Springish' Weather


If you're in Appleton you noticed that this week the weather is finally getting better. Even cats and dolphins are befriending each other! It's warm and sunny, students forgot they have homework assignments due tomorrow and now are playing football and volleyball near Main Hall Green and the Frat Quad. This afternoon, after a meeting with my adviser, I walked from Lawrence to Walgreens and I didn't have to wear a jacket. It is very comforting to notice that, although not officially, spring is here. Even if you're an indoors type of person like me, try to at least go sit outside for a few minutes and enjoy this calmer and pleasanter aspect of nature. Go for a walk, sit outside to read a book, wear sandals, or simply walk barefoot... but, please, let your body produce vitamin D today. 

segunda-feira, 11 de abril de 2011

Capitulo 43 - Tornado Watch - Part II


Today, in class, everyone was talking about the tornado that hit Appleton last night. I am posting a video I found on YouTube and the last section of it shows what Neenah, a town around 16 minutes away from Appleton, looked like yesterday. The weather today seems unstable, but in general the winds were very strong throughout the whole day. Earlier this afternoon it was sunny, but right now a huge mass of gray clouds are taking over the sky. I wonder if we'll have a repetition of yesterday. I seriously hope not!

domingo, 10 de abril de 2011

Capitulo 43 - Tornado Watch

Alright, perhaps I am the most ridiculous person ever, but I really don't like storms. I also hate sirens and tornadoes. Add all that and you'll find a very scared version of yours truly. Tonight, when I arrived from Madison, I found Apple-town like this. I ran back to my residence hall as fast as I could. Right outside Kohler Hall a guy was 'enjoying' (?) this festival of nature, his arms open as if saluting the storm. He said hello to me, but I was too busy running and could only stare at my shoes. "Hey.." I said, "and I don't even know who you are." My hoodie didn't allow me to see his face. He laughed. 

sábado, 2 de abril de 2011

...and I bet you didn't know I look different!

Did you know my hair was short? I forgot to tell you that, for the first time in my life, I got a haircut like this. Yes, this is a rather trivial subject, but I suppose my long hair was a strong memory you had of me if you were trying to remember what I looked like. My mom could barely believe me when I told her my hair was short. See, when I was a kid my uncle wouldn't let anyone get near my long curls. He thought I had to keep them forever. I hope I am not like Samson, though. I thought that, maybe now that a cycle is almost over in my life, it was interesting to try to change a little the way I look. My hair, then, was my victim! I liked it a lot and I think I'll keep it like this from now on.

sexta-feira, 1 de abril de 2011

It's Early in the Morning and I Can't Sleep

Seriously, why? Why can't I simply be one of those people who fall asleep a minute after they are in bed? Sometimes I wish my mind wouldn't wander away like this, but it's 6:24 a.m. and here I am thinking about writing. I thought a great deal about what my day was like yesterday (and I must add it wasn't one of my favorite days), but I suppose I am mostly getting distracted with ideas.

I need to continue a story I started last summer, otherwise my fountain of imagination will start overflowing and that could cause serious damage. The writing of it was so demanding and so psychologically draining that I had to abandon the project for a few months and engage in different 'adventures'. That other plot demanded a lot more from my ability to live through my characters. I suppose my previous characters, although interesting to me, perhaps were a little flat. This other work I mentioned, though, required a lot more thinking and feeling than I was accustomed to.

I wish I could tell you more about it, but I still am the same self-conscious being you've met. I need to do some serious writing and then editing before I let you hear this story. For now, if you please, would you wish me good luck? I've engaged in numerous writing projects and I am asking God for a chance to succeed in at least one of them.

Have a great weekend and good luck with your endeavors you too!

quinta-feira, 3 de março de 2011

Capitulo 42 - Carros Sequestrados Numa Noite Fria de Inverno

Agora falta bem pouco ate o fim do winter term. Esse inverno foi um bocado frio e nevou tanto que mesmo o pessoal daqui, acostumado a nevascas, estranhou. Uma noite dessas fiquei ate tarde acordada estudando e terminando meus assignments, quando notei um veiculo sendo rebocado ao final da rua. Ja era muito tarde e nao havia ninguem na rua, apenas o carro sendo rebocado. As luzes do reboque eram laranjas e brilhavam na neve que caiu constantemente durante a madrugada. Uma meia-hora depois outro carro foi rebocado. Achei a visao, espiando da janela do meu quarto no Kohler Hall, um pouco triste. Pensei nos pobres carros sendo "sequestrados" para sabe-se la onde numa noite tao fria quanto aquela e tambem pensei nos donos (pobres pais descuidados) acordando na manha seguinte para encontrar o carro desaparecido.

Por falar em carro, eu nem sei dirigir. Pergunto-me se algum dia vou aprender. Minha visao noturna (e diurna!) eh terrivel. Eu nao enxergo quase nada e mesmo com oculos renovados tenho sempre que carregar o livro a poucos centimetros do nariz para conseguir ler. Acho que sempre dependerei de alguem para me levar a algum lugar ou entao viverei de pegar onibus, porque a responsabilidade de dirigir a noite eu nunca gostaria de ter! Nao, ja basta o meu pouco senso de direcao e os meus olhos ruins mesmo de dia. Imagine dirigir numa noite em que o mundo parece inserido num daqueles globinhos de neve? Lembro que o meu amigo Leo ate contou-me que quando ele estava aprendendo a dirigir sentia como se o carro mal coubesse na pista junto com os outros veiculos.

 

terça-feira, 22 de fevereiro de 2011

Formatura em Junho


Agora falta bem pouco para a minha formatura. Por toda parte escuto outros alunos veteranos, como eu, falarem da ansiedade por junho se aproximar a todo vapor. Todos estamos arrumando as nossas coisinhas, recarregando nossas baterias e nos preparando para essa vaga ideia de futuro. Deseje-me sorte, pois comeca um novo ciclo da minha vida.

domingo, 20 de fevereiro de 2011

Neva, Neva e Neva em Appleton




Esta nevando um bocado em Appleton. Semana passada o inverno parecia ja se despedir e dar lugar a temperaturas mais amenas, dar lugar a ansiosamente aguardada primavera. Hoje, no entanto, quando abri as cortinas do quarto para ver o sol brilhando la fora... SURPRESA! Nada na massa cinzenta de nuvens la em cima sugeria que ontem, ainda ontem, o ceu era de um azul-intenso brilhante. E os terrenos, que ja estavam quase limpos da neve, amanheceram cobertos por esse manto branco que voce pode ver no video. Quando fui tomar cafe-da-manha no Campus Center mal consegui erguer a cabeca pelos floquinhos que burlavam a protecao das lentes dos meus oculos e iam me espetar os olhos. Na volta, com as vestes gotejando, voltei a protecao do meu quarto aquecido. Esse video eh uma amostra do inverno por aqui, observado pela janela do meu quarto, numero 201, do predio residencial Kohler Hall.

quinta-feira, 3 de fevereiro de 2011

Apple-Town Congelada

Frio, frio, frio... aqui na Lawrence esta muito frio. Por toda parte, especialmente quando ando de um predio a outro, escuto os alunos reclamarem baixinho (e outras vezes ate mais alto) quando o ventro sopra forte e leva o calor do corpo. Para voce ter uma impressao, nessa temperatura logo que voce eh exposto ao vento as narinas se tornam imediatamente secas, para entao comecarem a produzir mais fluidos de maneira exagerada, o que piora a situacao. O nariz escorrendo se torna ainda mais gelado e vermelho-sangue. Outro detalhe eh sair ao vento com cabelo molhado -- em poucos minutos os fios estarao congelados. Sem brincadeira. Seria engracado, se nao fosse tao frio...

segunda-feira, 31 de janeiro de 2011

A Estrada

Nesse exato momento eu estou dentro de um onibus em algum lugar entre Milwaukee e Fond du Lac. Na minha cabeca, ao observar a paisagem coberta por esse manto branco de neve, um pensamento recorrente: oh, melancolico ultimo dia de janeiro. Mas, pelo menos ha a estrada e os carros indo e vindo, as arvores peladas, as casas de telhados cobertos pela neve que cai ha 1 hora. Eu gosto de viajar, gosto de ver o mundo, embora na maior parte do tempo eu assuma ares de Emily Dickinson. Dizem que vem uma terrivel tempestade por ai e o meu estomago, que nao ve comida desde ontem a noite, reclama...

sexta-feira, 21 de janeiro de 2011

sábado, 8 de janeiro de 2011

Capitulo 40 -- V for Vendetta?


Estava eu aqui, em epoca de implorar que algum agente literario adote essa escritora em atual estado de orfandade, quando um rapaz entrou saltitando no laboratorio de informatica e surpreendeu-me enquanto eu escrevia um email para uma agencia literaria da qual gosto bastante. O mais surpreendente, fora os gestos do bailarino, foi a pintura ao melhor estilo Guy Fawkes que ele tinha no rosto.

Tirei os fones de ouvido, virei-me para o rapaz e ele seguiu para um computador atras de mim, totalmente alheio a qualquer olhar curioso. Em verdade eu ja o vi outras vezes aqui no Kohler Hall e ele sempre pareceu-me... diferente... no modo como segue de um lugar a outro. Por exemplo, certa vez meu amigo Naveed estava conversando comigo na front desk, numa noite dessas em que eu estava on duty, e esse mesmo garoto passou correndo pelo lobby e nos surpreendeu ao fazer um gesto que apenas posso descrever como um miste de ballett e "passa a bola para mim, estou livre!". Na epoca achei que fosse apenas locura de finals week... mas hoje vejo que nao.

Se voce me perguntar por que ele eh assim... nao saberei dizer. A menos que ele seja algum dancarino profissional constantemente ensaiando, por que alguem andaria de um lado a outro correndo e saltitando como uma lebre em perigo, erguendo os bracos para cima como se quisesse agarrar o ceu?

sexta-feira, 7 de janeiro de 2011

Capitulo 39 -- Winter Term


As aulas recomecaram. O comentario principal por aqui eh "as ferias passaram rapido demais" e eu concordo! Estudar eh sempre bom e faz bem a mente e ao espirito, mas durante as ferias eu sempre tenho a impressao de que eu sou mais feliz. Leio e escrevo no meu proprio tempo, visito outros lugares e mais uma serie de outros detalhes que fazem o meu coracao sorrir. Eu adoro a Lawrence, mas acho que ja esta na hora de dar adeus ao mundo de testes e comecar a vida real, por mais que a vida real nao seja nenhum paraiso.

O winter term comecou e com ele o meu horario academico sobrecarregado. Mesmo nessa primeira semana de aulas ja estive acordada ate as 4:00 da manha terminando de escrever uma redacao e lendo o material de outra aula, para no dia seguinte levantar as 8:00! O resultado sempre envolve olhos ardidos, corpo dolorido e humor nublado... E tem feito frio, muito frio! Eu estava caminhando na College Avenue um dia desses com Michael e o interior das minhas narinas comecaram a congelar! Mesmo Michael, que nasceu e cresceu nesse clima, tambem estava reclamando.

Recomecar as aulas, em verdade, nao eh de todo ruim. Eh claro que ha o lado bom e eh para esse aspecto que devemos olhar. Manter a mente ocupada eh o melhor presente de todos. Ociosidade nunca fez bem a ninguem! Nesse trimestre continuo meu independent study e tambem estarei terminando outros projetos pessoais. Rever amigos e professores tambem eh bom, embora a maioria esteja sempre ocupada. Ouvir piadas e rir durante staff meetings eh o melhor remedio para uma semana dificil.

Abracos de Apple-town!

P.S. Se voce quer saber um pouco mais sobre a Lawrence University eu sugiro a serie This is Lawrence no YouTube. O link abaixo eh um video sobre o Main Hall, predio onde tenho a maior parte das minhas aulas.

http://www.youtube.com/user/LawrenceUniversity#p/u/17/_9ZqWHNhhq0